“Waver”

Staggering, swinging
I’m certainly uncertain
of  what I’m to do


06/04/2017 5:52 pm || 07/27/2017 7:14 pm

Title from Athena Andrea Marcelo.

Photo taken from Google Images.


With the enrollment season at its peak, students have started to gather wits about them. The impending start of classes will certainly lead to more challenging times, difficult lessons, overwhelming practicals, and fighting to death for even a few winks. With this, everyone, even the professors and lecturers and admin, are bracing themselves.

Classes are coming.

And once you’re nose deep in books and drowning in papers, all you want to do is stay afloat until the very last exam, the very last paper, the very last project.

Being an average student with less than average study habits in an above average school, it is not uncommon for me to want to reach the end of the semester even if its still just a few weeks in. But I realized that thinking this way and acting this way is equivalent to me wandering the path down my career almost aimlessly.

And the trigger to my realization came in the form of a Student Academic and Psycho-social Form.

Waver1.gif
Scene from Wolf Children.

The purpose of the form was for our respective advisers to know more about us and at the same time monitor us. The first page was a breeze. Just basic personal information. The second page was what knocked the sense into me.

It asked about our educational goals, and our career plans, interests and concerns. At first glance, it look sort of easy. But when I really put my mind on it, I seriously got nothing.

And took me the whole day just devising sentences that prevented me from typing out words that almost screamed “I have no idea”.

It dawned on me that there were some big decisions I have to make. What am I going to do after graduation? Should I take the path to medicine? Do I continue as a therapist? If so, what field do I enter? Do I really want what this career path has to offer?

And that’s just the beginning. I know that sometimes, I really do take too long to make decisions. Maybe that’s why God gave me an impulsive side, or else I would have stagnated–unmoving, stuck at some crossroad in life, unable to move forward for who knows how long.

Waver2

But I am changing. I want to change. I realized that you also lose something when you remain indecisive for so long–opportunities pass, feelings remain unexpressed, dreams stay as dreams.

But I believe that it is even more dangerous when you do make a decision, but do so half-heartedly. When you waver in your decisions. When you actively go back and forth with your choice. Getting scared about making a decision is normal. Anyone can get the jitters when they’re about to make a decision, even small ones can seem overwhelming at times. I sometimes find it hard to decide whether to buy that melon pan for a snack or just save the money for later. We’re human. We get nervous, unsure, uncertain, and/or undecided. We ain’t perfect. But at the very end, we have to make that decision. Make it and commit to it. There’s no escaping that.

Being irresolute is not a problem, but staying irresolute is. Being undecided means that you are being considerate to both options–continuously weighing the pros and cons, considering what’s truly best for you, for the future, for the people concerned, for the greater good.

And don’t worry. As a perk of being the imperfect humans that we are, we are allowed to make mistakes. Just make sure that we make those mistakes worth it. Learn from it, allow it to guide you on your journey, gain experience from it to better your decision making. And each small decision you make will aid you in your decisions in the future, or will lead you to the things you will have to decide on. No matter how small a decision, it will certainly impact you in some way.

As I attached my filled up form to my email and click send, I became much more aware of the impending decisions I would have to make sooner or later. Decisions that would certainly affect the way I will live my life. It served as a wake up call. I seriously need to start considering my future. Seriously.

But for now, I wonder what flavor of ramen should I buy for dinner?

Waver3
Ichiraku Ramen  from Naruto.

Since this post is all about decisions, I’ll tell you something that my friend taught me that helped me decide some of even the most trivial decisions in my life (like buying that melon pan).

Ask yourself a question that directly addresses the problem at hand. Then answer immediately. For example, “Do I want melon pan now? Yes.”

Then count to five. If you reach five without having to change your decision, then go for it! It might seem impulsive but it helped me a lot. Though don’t do this during exams!!! Seriously, don’t do it.

Or you could do the toss coin thing. Assign the choices on either heads or tails then flip it! The moment the coin is in the air, you’ll know what you really want because you’ll find yourself hoping for a specific outcome, whether heads or tails.

These are just simple tips for simple problems. Bigger decisions, or those which will have more impact on your life need to be pondered on more. You can do this!

Oh, and don’t forget to consider your feelings too! Emotions may sometimes be deemed unnecessary in decision making but I beg to differ. They’re there for a reason you know. Just don’t overdo it. Anything in excess is bad!

That’s all for now, my friends!

See yah!

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