A place–dark, remote
where I play with my shadows
in puddles of tears
06/04/2017 10:48 am || 06/14/17 6:20 pm
Title from Jonas Oliver Reyes.
Photo taken from Google Images.
Let me guess. The moment you read the title for this heres post, you’d probably think something like “Isolation” (you know, ‘cuz you read the title? No? Okay, fine), then you saw the picture and go like “This is gonna be another sad and dramatic post”. And then you read the haiku and be like, “Yep, there’s the word “tears” in it. Yep, it’s sad.”. And then you move on to the post, expecting a melancholic one but you find yourself reading this and thinking “What the heck am I reading? Where’s the sadness?”
Well, you ain’t wrong. That was a corny paragraph. I wonder who wrote it? The writer probably thought “what the heck am I writing?” when he wrote that.
I originally planned this to be a mellow post but I decided against it after receiving messages from my friends asking if I’m alright and them wondering what kind of life I am actually living because most of my previous posts were mostly sad. (Ha. But as I said, I am just melancholic in nature. Nothing to worry about (I think…?).
Anyway, so that’s the reason I decided that this post be (relatively) lighter.
Now, why don’t we isolate ourselves from society for a while and imagine ourselves not bound by obligation, responsibilities, stress and all that what-not? Let’s face it, hearing the word isolation rarely brings up positive thoughts, memories and feelings. And I have to admit that I had my share of “isolated moments” and none of them are very happy (at all).
But how about we look at it from a different angle? (Ha, Big Hero 6 reference right there. I know, trigger… Now moving on…). Isolation can mean detachment from others, and this can either be detachment by society from us or us detaching from society.
I don’t like being isolated as much as the next person who doesn’t want to be isolated, but some people prefer isolation. They prefer it over having to deal with people who they think will only cause them pain or unhappiness, thus, they remove themselves from the situation of having to interact with them in the first place. And believe it or not, some people find solitude in isolation.
I know I just said that I don’t like being isolated, but lately, I catch myself detaching from the world, you know what I mean? All that stress and pollution and stress and acads and fights and stress and drama and freakin’ exams and stress makes you want to quit at life. But I don’t want to ‘cuz I still got to pass that paper and treat my dear patients and watch the latest episode of that airing anime I get hooked on to. And I believe my parents are gonna freak out if I quit and that’s going to be messy and noisy and I don’t think they’ll forgive me either so, no thanks.
So what do I do?
I isolate myself from the situation. Just me in this little ball breathing and floating. I calm my mind. And calm my heart and brain. I chill out. I give myself time. I reflect.
Why am I experiencing this feeling? Why am I here right now? How can I go about this? Why do birds suddenly appear?
Ok, maybe the last one, not so much.
Anyway, the point is, isolation is not that bad depending on the context. Well, I guess this is just one person’s opinon. But, personally, my best pieces where written during the times that I feel so isolated from the world, when I feel like I was all alone. I think what matters is what we do about it.
In my self-created isolation bubbles, I am able to reflect, calm down, and zone out. I also get to know more about myself as well and realize stuff I wouldn’t have noticed if I were paying attention to someone else’s bubble. From the moment full of chaos, I start a small ball where I hide and prep up. Where I write to organize my thoughts and feelings. Where I create a game plan, so when the time comes for life to pop that bubble, or even better, when I decide to face life and pop the bubble myself, I have collected myself. I am at least, (relatively) prepared.
And when we do get isolated by the the universe, we could use that time to evaluate ourselves and our lives. Why am I experiencing this feeling? Why am I here right now? How can I go about this? Why do birds– (ok, scratch the last one).
And who knows, maybe we will find ourselves in this place where we are alone.
(Just try not drown in the puddles of tears, okay?)
It’s 9:07 pm on the 21st of June. Hahaha. Clutch mode. 😉
Anyway, you know that moment when you’re cramming and then suddenly a lot of thoughts come to you and you’re not exactly sure if they’re helpful or distracting or what but you can’s just ignore them ‘cuz like, well, they’re your thoughts.
So here’s some of the thoughts I got:
- Journal writing. I know, I know, so random. But what I am saying is that journal writing helps me keep my thoughts into place. I think I am a much chiller and calmer person now than compared to when I didn’t do journal writing. Maybe it’s because I had a place where I can dump random thoughts so they’re not flying uncategorized inside my brain. I recommend that you try it! It might help you too. Thank you to my dear friend who suggested I give it a shot. You saved a life. ^_^
- I find left handed people so cool. I can’t even explain, but I really find them cool hahaha. This thought came to me when I saw the picture of the guy thinking of what to write (the last image in the above post). Hahaha. Anyway, hello to all the left-handed people! B-)
- You should watch Big Hero 6. Seriously, you should watch. Seriously. Hahaha. 😉
That is all, my dear readers! Until next time!
P.S. Sending love to all those who feel isolated. You’re never truly alone in this world. Trust me. If you need someone to talk to, I can be there for you. Just message me on Twitter or something. Or send an email! Got to love old school 🙂