To life’s creator,
what is it that lies ahead?
Can I get a hint?
06/04/2017 8:59 pm || 06/17/17 2:59 pm
Title from Patricia Louise Enrile.
Scene from The Place Promised in Our Early Days taken from Google Images.
(To be perfectly honest, it’s the day of the deadline and this page is still blank. Initially, it was because I seriously got no idea what I’m going to write about, but now, it remains blank because I have too many ideas and I can’t choose which one to go with. This is so frustrating… So fair warning, this one is going to be messy.)
Ever wondered how your life’s story will end? Like, will you get to live in a big house with six lovely children, settle in a small house with your life partner, just the two of you, or just you in your apartment, living the life you’ve always wanted?
Ever wondered if you chose the right course, the right school, the right track, the right club? If that extra hour you gave to studying (or maybe, sleeping) affected your overall grade average? And will everything be worth it in the end?
Ever wondered what the effect that extra bottle of beer has on your life, that extra stick of cigarette or that extra shot you took? If that simple “thank you” and “sorry” you said affected your relationship with your friend?
There’s a lot of what if’s that always wander around our minds 24/7. We either dwell on it, let it go or ignore it. ‘Cause let’s face it, there is nothing more that we can do about it. But let’s all admit that it would be cool to have a glimpse of the future brought about by that extra minute you waited for your lover, that extra pen you brought for the exam or that extra rice you bought for lunch (triggered).
There’s this song from my high school days that I listen to. I’ve been attracted to it ever since because of how the lyrics speak one of my most reaccuring thoughts. It’s titled Happily Ever After by He is We and its chorus goes like this:
“Oh, happily ever after, wouldn’t you know, wouldn’t you know.
Oh, skip to the ending, who’d like to know, I’d like to know.
Author of the moment, can you tell me, do I end up, do I end up happy?”
I prefer to live my life day by day, doing what I can in order to contribute to my long term goals but never forgetting to live in the moment. And when the going gets tough, I try to be tougher by saying “I can do this” or “This will end well” or “This pain won’t last and this suffering will end”. But… Will it? Really? Sometimes, you just want to know if everything’s really gonna be alright in the end. If everything is going to turn out fine. If every hardship and sacrifice, every tear and sweat, all the hurt and pain will be worth it in the end, escpecially when times are hard and feel that you can’t take it anymore. As the song goes, “we all want to know how it ends”.
The instant we decide on a course of action (or don’t decide. Yeah, bummer right? Something’ll still happen even if you don’t do anything so, yeah, it’ll be better if we do something), we won’t know if it’s right or wrong or what until something actually happens as a result of that decision.
A favorite character of mine from the anime Shingeki no Kyojin named Levi Ackerman once said to his subordinate Eren Jaeger during a time when Eren cannot decide what decision to make was this:
“Whether you should believe in yourself, or believe in the Survey Corps, myself included. I myself don’t know… I never have. Whether I believed in my own abilities, or whether I believed in the decisions of my trusted comrades, in the end no one ever knew what the outcome would be. So I guess… you have to do your best to make a decision that you won’t regret.”
And I find it true and real (yes, I agree with him, not because he is a favorite character of mine but his words really make sense… and he is a favorite character so… anyway). We never really know how our actions will affect the tides of fate. Will it ripple through time and space causing massive change or will it just be a soft wind barely changing the course of fate? We will never really know.
And maybe that’s one reason why life is full of surprises, because we never really know what lies ahead, what’s gonna happen next or is it the end of the line for us?
But I have to admit, this unknown variable, this curious mystery, this unsolved puzzle of what’s in store for us, is what gives life interesting and open to changes. Because nothing is definite. They didn’t say “Change is the only constant thing in this world” for nothing.
And so my dear reader, to end this post, I’ll ask you a question that I found while scrolling through my feed on Twitter:
If you were handed a book and started reading then you realized it was the book of your life…
Would you read ’til the end?
Wooh, I actually got out of this one alive. Hooray for finishing my first clutch post! I am a crammer by heart (if there is such a thing). Anyway, thanks for bearing with me. 🙂
‘Til next time!
P.S. I had other ideas for this post (well, I did say I had a bit of a writer’s flow after a huge block), and I might share it in the next intermission… Might… But most probably, yeah… Hihi. ^_^ tata for now 🙂